Descendence
The Catalyst Story
Crystal’s Story
The Personality Reform Part II
‘Day 7’
The air didn’t feel fresh. That was all Crystal had wanted when she stepped outside today. She had plucked up all that courage to finally go outside back into the world, and the air felt different.
Maybe it was because she was so used to the stale air that had built up in her room.
Either way, Crystal now stood in the garden behind the blacksmith workshop. She stood on the stone path, which stretched up ahead and reached around a variety of stone statues, crafted by Hermes throughout his time working here. A large tree stood to her left, keeping her in the shade of whatever sunlight breached through the barrier.
Crystal’s eyes were closed, she was trying to keep her breathing calm and collected. In her hand, she held a long iron broadsword. Despite how she tried her best to keep her composure, the hands were shaking. She had never held a blade with this intent in her mind before.
Days ago, Crystal had not cared for what happened to her. This train of thought had not changed, but a flicker of a new aim had begun to take shape. Crystal did not care what happened to her now, whether her end was outside, inside, of someone’s hand or her own.
That was why she was holding this sword right now. Trying desperately the pluck up some courage to raise it upwards and point it towards an enemy in her mind. She’d lost track of how long she had stood here trying to form that mindset and take the first swing. Alas, she could not do it.
Not today.
Crystal headed back inside, leaving the iron broadsword in the blacksmith workshop. Heading back upstairs, she did her best to avoid her friend, Alex. She felt like she had failed again today, in not being able to swing that damn sword.
Returning to her room, Crystal collapsed on her bed, making no sign of emotion, no sign of sadness nor disappointment. But in her mind, she had never been so ashamed. It was only a simple matter too, not being ready to fight back. Who was she kidding, it wasn’t simple, it was the most complicated choice she could make. The Catalyst Challenge had been going forward for a week now, and there were no signs of their situation changing any time soon. While Rich District seemed to be adjusting to the new way of life, there was no telling how hard it was back out there across the city.
Crystal entered her room, leaving her door slightly ajar. Sitting on her bed, she looked out at the open curtains on her bedroom window.
“What is the point?” she asked herself in her head. What was the point in fighting against something that couldn’t be fought against?
Those thoughts entered her mind again, ones she feared so much in having.
Thoughts of just...ending it all.
What did she have to lose? Only her life, and even then that felt like at times it was already over. Who was going to miss her? Alex? While that was certainly a reason to draw back from even acting on such thoughts...it was one person.
Crystal didn’t exactly have a large social group that would mourn her loss if it were to happen. She didn’t have any family here, that she knew of.
Her family life, her childhood had been one of control, plans, routes crafted for her so she could end up where her parents wanted. It had never been about what Crystal wanted to do, only what she could do to benefit the future of her parent’s business.
Had she still been there, no doubt she would now be in some form of arranged marriage, sad.
Yet even now, she questioned if perhaps that would be a better life than the one she was having right now. A life with no escape, no way out, and any attempt resulting in a quick and painless death, at least seemingly.
She’d even thought about how she’d do it.
Did she find something here at home to do it? Or did she go out to the boundary of this city and just...lay a simple touch upon that matter?
Crystal took a deep breath, there were those moments where those thoughts were cast as a shadow over her. Only when it became too dark would she lose her way and act upon them, but there was always a little light that bought her back to her senses.
Opening her eyes wide, she felt tears begin to form. She couldn’t possibly think of taking her life. Her mind was so confused, what should she do?
She laid back on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. It was more welcoming than looking up outside and witnessing the barrier above.
Why couldn’t she be like a warrior? Why couldn’t she just sum up this courage and become someone she wanted to be. Why was it so hard?
...Because Crystal was not a warrior...
Crystal did not know who she was. For a long time, she felt like she bore this mysterious identity that no one knew. No one knew who Crystal Inos was, no one would bat an eye.
Wait, maybe that was the key to all of this.
No one knew who she was, which meant she was...free to choose?
Was that possible? Could she pick up the sword and become someone who deep down she may not be, but become?
She’d be living a lie, a lie she’d have to keep up. Even then, she may not become strong at all, it may become too much for her. Crystal had experience with a sword, in her teenage years she had taken basic and advanced classes in fencing, so she knew her way slightly around a blade.
But she had failed to practise earlier in the garden of the workshop. What if she failed again?
No, the warrior wouldn’t fail, and they wouldn’t take that possibility into account when they trained to become stronger. It had been a week now, and Crystal was on the verge of losing herself back to the world she was born into. If there was ever a time to become someone else...it was now.
* * *
It was nightfall when Crystal creeped out into the dead of night in the garden. That iron broadsword laying beside the door was in her hand again, and she gripped it tighter than her previous attempt.
Above her, the faint blue glow of the Catalyst Barrier shone down. She had her eyes closed, taking in deep intakes of breath, trying to will the courage out.
Ten minutes passed, and the darkness of the mind was still corrupting Crystal. In her mind’s eye, she was surrounded by pure black nothingness. She had to fight her way out of this, right now she could see herself on the ground, huddled and scared of her surroundings.
Crystal needed to take that step, she had to push through this darkness and find a way to assure herself that this was the right choice.
In her mind, she stepped forward, while scared of where her foot may land, scared she may fall, she took it nonetheless. She walked over to herself and bent down to her level. Extending her hand to the mess that was her mind, she offered her hand.
“I can do this.” she said calmly.
Crystal opened her eyes, and the scared expression was gone. Instead, now, her brow was lowered, her eyes were sharp, and her posture had become one of a stance she had held long ago.
The blade was no longer held by her side, instead, now it was pointed forward.
Her first step had been taken.
Crystal would not let this Challenge take her life, not by her own hands anyway. If she were to die out there in the world, it would be as a warrior, and not a scared lost little girl.
Moving forward, Crystal made her first strike. This strike penetrated everything she aimed to achieve in future. To defeat the Catalysts, to dispel the scared girl that lay deep inside...
To start living the lie of Crystal Inos, the warrior...
Next Time:
Edge’s Story
The Grand Mage Teachings
&
The Bandit Break-In
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